I have this guy at my job that I call my "little taste of heaven". I call him that because I think he is so handsome and down to earth. Out of the year and some change that I have been here, he is the only one in this entire city (small, college city) that I think is worth looking at.

I was told by 3 people yesterday that I should ask him out. But of the people that know me, all of them know that I am not that type of person. Im not one to ask a guy out or even think about that. Not saying that thats a problem, but I just dont want to go that route with relationships. I want to be approached because I have always been the one to ask and its always ended in heartache. So I decided a while ago that the next relationship I get into, I want it to be on my terms in that regard.

But anywho, one of my sorority sisters was talking to me on the phone last night and she was the 3rd person to tell me that I should approach him. The way she told me to do so was to ask him to go to lunch with me. Not in a "strings attached" sort of way, but just to be friends. I said that I could do that. (I am in no way shy, but when it comes to this, I am!) I was giving her an example of what I was going to do, and she was so convienced that she was about to turn her car around and meet me at Applebee's...lol.

So I woke up this morning with a goal in mind. "Eat lunch with my taste of heaven"! Well, he is a coach too, so they were just finishing up with their morning practice so he wasnt in the office yet. So I waited a little while and finally saw him. I went to his office and made small talk with my friend, his office secretary. Then when I felt it was ok for me to go in, I did. I went in and started making conversation with him. I suddenly had a change of heart when he didnt make eye contact or even take the time out to look up at me at all. (I really felt disrespected, dont know if it was just because of what I was going in to do, but I did) I didnt act up or anything, I just said, "well, looks like your busy, so I'm going to leave you alone...have a good one".

He had the nerve to tell me that he wasnt busy, but all the while, looking down and doing everything but making eye contact. Maybe I'm just a sucker for people looking at me when I'm talking, but I left with the thought in my mind that we will just be co-workers and thats it. No friends, no nothing...just co-workers. If things change in the friendship department, thats cool, but I dont forsee that.

I dont know...when I feel something in my heart/instutition/instincts, I usually go with that. And they are all saying, leave him alone. So that I will do. I tried, and I realize that things will happen if its meant to happen and I cant force something thats clearly not there. But that doesnt stop me from seeing him as my "little taste of heaven". A women needs some eye candy in her life!!! haha :)

What do you take on this situation....???

You know, I really appreciate being a part of something that really doesnt center around me! I heard some one say to me today and question my decision to be a part of an organization that was not the 'norm' for a black young woman. I really resent that. Why must I become a statistic because everyone wants me to be?!? Or thats what is expected of me?

I am different and have always been that way. I also understand that with me being different, I am also conforming. But the decisions I make shouldnt make me less of a person because I didnt choose the route others sought out for me.

I am here to serve others, thats why a year and a half ago, I chose to be a part of the greatest Service Sorority in the country!!!

GAMMA SIGMA SIGMA NATIONAL SERVICE SORORITY, INC.

Wee-Oop Sorors!!!!